I’m discontinuing my disc service tonight and will be sending back my copy of The Hurt Locker which, true to the best line from 30-minutes or less, has just been sitting on my bedside table for over a month and I just can’t bring myself to care to watch it. Maybe with this change I never will. Or I’ll just wait until it goes streaming, but I’ll tell you what: it’s never going to come to my mailbox in a Qwikster mailer.
I like thoughts like these. This made me laugh.
It’s about the journey… :p
Good fucking bye you horrible horrible horrible fucking game! I hate hate hate hate hate you! You are not noire, you are not open world, you are a puddle of shit and you are now the only game I have EVER sold back in my life. And I own ET for Atari. There is no aspect of your gameplay that I cannot find in another game and find it done better. You are a poor man’s everything. Go to hell.
Then Bullshit answers the phone and goes, “Hello. Yes, this is totally Bullshit. How are you, Danny?”
And I go “BAD!” and hang up.
This video gets me for two reasons. One, that girl sneezing is so sad. Two, the male co-anchor of this news show (?) is a HUGE asshole - it’s possibly the least funny commentary I’ve ever heard - what a douchebag! Enjoy.
Oh yeah, you guys are the WORST! You’re so bad! Ha ha. Ha ha.
Haaaaaaaaaaaa… ¬_¬
|<1d5 70d4y!
Working in both the entertainment and videogame industries inevitably leads to a lot of working with computers, so I tend to run into a fair amount of ridiculous, vapid, fear-mongering news stories. This little gem was brought to my attention by my buddy Mark Hayden:
It’s a discussion about the various kinds of “phone slang” that kids use to communicate about drugs and sex. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never had anyone send me half of these messages and if they did, I’d probably think they were about the biggest moron I’d ever met - kid or no.
But let’s say it happens. Come on, CNN article, I bet you’re right. Yeah! I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt. You’re a legitimate news corporation. In fact, I bet you can even come up with an example of this that doesn’t seem ridiculous, lame, or even remotely fake!
Once you get the hang of the language, you can try your hand at translating a real message found by Susan Shankle and Barbara Melton, co-authors of the book “What in the World Are Your Kids Doing Online?”
“I was so jacked up last night. I scored some crack at the party so I’d have it for tonight and tomorrow, and then Jimmy took off with it, the [expletive]! I am all jittery and need to meet up with you tonight after my parents think i am asleep. Can you meet me at Bojangle’s at midnight just for a few minutes? I just need a little and I can pay you back on Monday, I promise.”
*cough*
So most likely I’ll be watching the Google feed for this whole weekend trying to figure out whether I should buy the new HTC Evo or not. The thing looks amazing, but reports of poor battery life have me more than a bit concerned.
I want my phone to do cool things at parties and entertain me when I’m bored, but I also want to be able to do a bunch of work on it when I feel like it (it should also make phone calls…I guess…if it has to…). If I felt like I could ditch all of my notebooks in favor of some form of MSWord for phones (without losing battery in an hour), then that would be pretty badass.
I also want to take pretty pictures, but for me it’s a bit of a draw between the iPhone’s Hipstamatic and Droid’s Vignette.
Regardless, it’ll work out in a few days, but in the meantime I’ll keep you posted on this completely frivolous life decision.
Danny Mastrangelo is a comedian currently located in Los Angeles, CA.
